Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize