that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Ladies don't puke and tell
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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