The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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