I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
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