Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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