i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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