But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
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I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
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