I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
lets start a swedish sibling band together
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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