You really coming over, don't trick.
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Randomize