I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I am available for nakedness
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
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