best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize