she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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