I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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