every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize