It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize