Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize