two words: eviction party
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
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She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
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