one two three fourrrrnication!
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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