I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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