He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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