but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Randomize