Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
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I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
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In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
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