We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
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