tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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