Im at strip club and am horny
Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
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