Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize