he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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