just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize