I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize