she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize