His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
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