is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
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