It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
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We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
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I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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