Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
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He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
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I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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