DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
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I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
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Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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