Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize