Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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