no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize