You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize