she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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