I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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