The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I need mimosas to revive my soul
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
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