I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
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It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
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I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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