i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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