i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize