I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize