I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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