Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize