I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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