I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Randomize